Babysitting

I've got a question from a friend last week. "My boss is visiting New York with his wife and wondering if you'd like to take care of their children for one night?"

I never say no to a friend asks me to take care of their puppies, I thought this would be nice, too. I love kids, the one who can speak, especially a foreign language. I told them I can take care but no diapers or anything like that. (I always get panic when puppies do poopies too.. ehem) they said no need. Ok.

I went to their hotel and met with the boy (the little one was sleeping already, guess how disappointed I was, I couldn't even see his face). He was 8 years old. I said "hallo, wie geht's?" with my weird accent. I think it was his first shock. Oh yea, he speaks fluently German and English.

We played German games in my phone for almost 2 hours. He thought my German is terrible.. (he came closer to camera and whispered "I don't understand her German". Grr..

When the time showed up 9:20 dad was messaging whatsup. Means the son needs to sleep.  I tried my best to gain some time but he had to go bed for some reason... I found myself sitting and asking myself: what the heck. All the fun, all of the reason I was there for is sleeping. Am I babysitting or what??!

Yea, that was my second babysitting experience in my life. I think kids are great when they are talking. My first experience was taking care of my aunts 1, 5 years old daughter... I remember as today: first minutes I was in love. Holding her and feeling close to this little tiny beautiful body and WANTING ONE. Insanely.. and 3 hours later, just thinking how crazy I have to be to have one.. such a big deal.. 3 hours was enough.. oh well.. but I love them :) Just as much as I love puppies as long as I do not own any of them.

So my second experience was very awesome. He was able to talk.  And he was very smart.  But me. I had no experience talking with living little human creatures.. I found myself commanding him "Sit. Talk." Realizing and thanking he didn't feel offended and adding immediately "bitte schon"...

Thanks a lot to my friend and the dad who trusted me. I had a lovely experience.. I have GREAT videos. I can't stop laughing watching them. So energetic. He did some karate moves and I thought if I can do it, too.. but I guess I'm getting old to try them.. I can't even properly kick!!

The Castle of the Past

There is a woman. She's in a castle. There a lot of guardians and she's hiding from them. But she's not trying to escape, she wants to discover. She wants to discover what this castle is and what these people are doing. She feels they are bad people and doing mean things.

There is a very BIG cage. Very big, she mistakenly put herself in there. And realized she got trapped with tigers. (Here, I LOVE tigers. I even sometimes tell, "aww, that beautiful animal could eat me. It would be okay. They are lovely.") In this part, this woman becomes me. And finding myself so close to death, I got terrified, my animal instincts became alive, I was not an human with a brain anymore. I was an animal who wanted to survive. When two of the hungry tiger was coming to me, I kind of changed this part of the dream, and I got rid of the cage. Wehh... (tricks :))

Next part, climbing, jumping, running, and she went to the most protected part of the castle. Which was the top of a super long book-shelf (like 15 meters). When she was getting closer to the top, the guardians actually can shoot her, but they don't. When she reaches the top, she only finds old newspapers pieces.

She sees a woman's photo, and reads a bit about how terrifying things that woman did, and she looks at the guardians. This woman is herself!! She was shocked. But now all is clear.

She was not happy what she did in the past, but wanted to forget everything about that life.She found a way somehow. All of the guardians knew that. But living like that was not enough, she wanted to fill the emptiness in herself. And after the discovery she figured out all.

In the end, she opens the secrets of the castle to the public, new newspapers published, etc.. She's not happy with her past, but happy with her now..

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Whatever we want to suppress, hide or push back inside of us, comes back more strongly. We should live it. If you want to let  this feeling go, live it. My dream proofs that, doesn't it? :) 

Life of Pi

Which idea, dream, goal makes you excited, cry when you think about?

I have my dreams makes me super excited and I can't even hold my tears sometimes.. Whatever this idea, you should ask yourself why you want it. Find your reasons.. Are they good-real reasons or they are covering some other needs? And visualize it. Imagine it! Meet, know, learn the people who made it before.. So it will not be a dream anymore, you'll feel close to it..

Life of Pi is one of the best movie I ever watched. I watched 3D, and regardless of the visual effects, the story itself was amazing.

The reflection of the sky from the ocean

The magical island and cute animals. I'd like to play with them..

Baby or not, tigers are beautiful.. And I definitely believe animals have soul..

Watching Life of Pi in 3D is not a bad idea..

Stars, fishes, life and love..

Richard Parker the Bengal Tiger...

And he can actually swim :) Isn't he so cute??

2013, Me & Myself

My bike has got stolen. From Columbus Circle. And I had already 2 bicycle tickets, and I was addicted to ride my bike even though it was winter & cold... So I was kinda relieved to lose it..

Also, new year, 2013 is just started great. Powerful. Love it so far..

I'm learning to go deep down of myself. I didn't know there was a lot of information about sub-conscious, controlling it, knowing it, and how it effects our life without knowing it. Let's see..

EDIT: Yes, I knew it!! I forgot all of these personal development books I've read when I was a kid. Brain power, NLP, etc.. I just started seeing all successful people, all millionaires (the happy ones) know this method. Affirmations, visualization, goal setting, etc.. They all tell the secret of their success in different styles, but there is one same main thing. It's the key. And I'm getting closer to it.

This time, it will not be like my old times, reading/learning a lot of valuable information and DO NOTHING! I'm taking the control of myself by the awareness of myself. This year is my year.

Lots love,
Your Favorite Turkish Girl :)

The Weirdest Awesome Event Though Mudder...

I've participated the world's most difficult parkour, Though Mudder.

Tough Mudder will punish you, no matter your shape, size, or current level of fitness. As such, we encourage all Mudders to increase their physical training in preparation for the event. That said, completing a Mudder is as much about mental toughness, grit, and camaraderie (and having a great time) as anything exclusively physical. In terms of what you are looking at: each Tough Mudder course will have 10-12 miles of hills, mud, water, ropes, walls, electric shocks, and fire designed to push you to your limit. Want more? 

Err.. I was really thinking I was ready and trained. remember? I bike everyday!!! I pull-up & sit-up every day!! Grr.. When we started running after climbing a wall, I realized with the cramps that I never run...I do not like to run. Only 5-10 maybe 15 minutes, just because I like the city at night. That's all..

I whined a lot!! and they gave the t-shirts in the end, I didn't know I pledged for it... :)  and.. I  remember saying "I had no fears before now I have a lot" 

I've stopped all my team because of my cramps, and to breath... It happened not more than 10 minutes later the race started.. Can you imagine how I was shocked & embarrassed . I never thought it could happen to me before.. I'm the monkey and the adventurous, I can do anything!! And all these almost 20 people were waiting for me to go. (great team ever) 

I learned how to breath in saying "I can" and exhale saying "do it".. I did run.. Controlling my mind and breath.. I could panic so easily, but I didn't. Now I wish I didn't take it so serious, and just walked slowly..

The first obstacle was a liquid that you should dive in and get out from the other side.. Problem: it's not water, full of ice, and minus 15 maybe... not ice cold, way much colder.. I remember I was saying: "I'm not ready, and I'm never gonna be ready for this." But, I had to jump, tones of people were so interested with completing the parkour so they were in the line.. I jumped, and my plan was holding my breath and dive-in.. Problem, it was so freaking cold that I couldn't breath in.. Can you imagine?? You just want to breath once to move on, so you can survive but you can't.. So with this panic feeling I could hear my mind saying, don't breath, just close your mouth and dive in. And that's what I did. And when I could climb up, the only thing I could do was screaming the shit out of me!! :) (I liked saying that)

Oh my boy.. 

Running and crawling in mud forever, I was still trying to control my mind for running, trying to not panic, while my lovely girl inside me was telling "WHAT THE HECK YOU'RE DOING HERE??????!!!" "All of these crazy people paid to get mud??!!!"

But I didn't stopped. I kept going. I climbed, I jumped, I added some photos from the official site below.

Shortly, after 9th miles, I went on a bit more, but because I kinda broke my finger (I'm still not sure if it's broken or not) and my knee got hurt (it still hurts weirdly after 4 days) I STOPPED. In the end, all of the point about Though Mudder is to finish the parkour -the 12 miles- and getting your band, T-shirt and beer, and I had to stopped. I felt bad-guilty, but at the same time relaxed.. I always hurt myself cause I'm not really careful about my body. 

Well, I got the T-shirt, band and beer tho :) So please pretend I did finish this creepy awesome parkour..

I loved it at first minutes, then I hated it.. hated so badly that I thought I was in a nightmare.. a nightmare that I wanted to wake up.. wake up in my warm safe bed.. Now.. After 4 days later, I'm missing it... Once my finger and knee get better, I'll join again (like 2 years later probably..)

It's such a life-full activity!! And a great team work.

Once Upon A Time...

Yes, I didn't find time to write here for a long time.. I was busy with:

Watching the greatest TV show ever "Once upon a time".. I'll love it forever.. All fairy tail characters are stuck in the earth as normal regular human roles, and they don't remember who they are > that's the curse.

The show is an incredibly well told tale full of mystery and surprising revelations. The back and forth between the real modern universe and the fairy tale world is wonderful, and the ties between the two are always entertaining. We meet all kinds of fairy tale characters, even Disney ones, since the network behind Once Upon a Time is owned by Disney. We meet Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, Belle, and many MANY more, including Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Won Gratel, etc.. Some photos:

my favorite character Hatter from Alice in Wonderland.

Snowwhite, the killer :)

The sheriff - huntsman..

Mr. Gold..

How would you eat a killer apple? Great production!!

Little red riding hood & the wolf...........

Some Music To Our Soul :)

Oh my God! How awesome is that production...?? I'm wordless, and impressed.

I'm the slave of good products & ideas.. such as(in music expression):

And my forever love, Elvis, I love all of his songs, but especially this one:

We Need To Talk

*Spoiler

We need to talk about Kevin and the Colorado mass shooting

Just last week, very randomly I watched a movie called "We Need To Talk About Kevin". I had no idea/clue about the film I just started to watch. The woman who was very successful became almost a homeless and people slap her face when they see her on the street and etc.. What the heck happened to her? I was wondering.. The visuals, artistic quality was really high and nice of the film.

The story is started to shape when she remembers her past, her son was born, and he hates his mom since his birth.. And go and on..

It was one of the best movie I've watched lately. And as you can see I'm not so good at describing it, but I can say I hold my breath till the end..

End? The kid locked his high school, and killed a bunch of students. When she asked him why he did that, the answer Kevin - murderer gave was "I thought I knew why but now I'm not sure"

And today what happened in the movie theater of Colorado, while people watching Batman Rises a 24 year old kid-man comes and kills 12-13 people including children, reminded me Kevin. We were discussing why he did that, the reason could be he wanted to take attention to his empty life. He had no idea of the real world, reality, and whatever he watches on TV, online was the world he was living in. And although I didn't watched the Batman Rises, I know from the trailer, it's pretty wild. And as far as I see the guy just dressed like Batman Rises bad man and gave terror to these innocent people in the theater. He got the attention.

In the prison he'll meet the real life maybe he never met before. Parents, parents.. Don't you think you should give a little responsibilities to your kids, so they will not feel empty and not look for crazy-wild attraction in their life. And is he going to regret when he sees the wild life of prison, or he'll not have enough time for feeling/thinking before he'll execute to death. (I learned in Colorado there is still the penalty of death)

I know it's not my job to criticize parents. Online and offline media has the biggest pie of these results. And you can't control. It will be more & more wild and uncontrollable. So, I believe even though you don't have much time and energy it's your responsibility to educate your children how they should consume/understand/watch/read the MEDIA.

I'm sure some kids who are watching the news today, feeling happiness that something tragic happened like that. They don't feel sad. They feel encouraged if someone do this, they can do it, too!

I'm wondering how we could take lessons from these sad examples how our community is effected by media. Or maybe you think it's not the fault of media? Tell me in the comments.  

look at the audience of Batman who dressed like the character in the movie.

she's representing the parents who got blamed and shocked after their kids behaviors.

Snow White and the Huntsman

What's wrong with these movie companies? First Twilight, and now Snow White and the Huntsman..

I'm asking it again, what's wrong with these writers, casting directors, etc.. Ok, I'm enough adult, but don't they know young teenagers are also watching, maybe kids? Young females..

Creating such love stories, fairy tales and then as if it's not enough putting Edward and the Huntsman as the male characters.. I remember the Edward effect, it started with the books before the movie, the writers wrote an impossible dream guy. Every female I knew were in love with him.. Including me.. :)

And then we watched Snow White and the Huntsman. 3 girls at Times Square Regal. When we left the theatre, we looked into each other and guessed what we've said? lol. "I love Huntsman!!" There is a big issue though: if I love something I want it to be mine, or let's kindly say I want to have it :) (err, I know it's pretty materialistic..)

How can I have the Huntsman?? Let's skip, is there a real man who's a little bit like him?

My message is to the producers. You're playing in the dangerous fields. You're giving impossible sweet dreams to young chikas who will never have it (never? really? maybe there is a possibility? all of these people who marry, they don't marry with logical reasons, right? there should be some stupid love thing?!)

Aww.. Do you know who woke Snow White up from her deadly sleep..? And I've learned the beautiful Queen was Charlize Theron, she was gorgeous!!! I give 5 stars to the Snow White and Huntsman. I'll watch it again, again, and again :)

I think my favorite part was with the troll part.. love it..

Snow White and the Lovely Queen.

the movie starts with his voice. he acted in Thor and The Avengers, too :)

queen says, "all women's weakness is love" or something like that..

Searching For My Soul

First, play the music, cause these days I only listen this lovely dubstep. And I also wrote with this song :)

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I was with one of my mentor (yay, I have a few of them now, universe heard me and send me some angels from nowhere), he asked me "I know you can do anything you want, but tell me, where do you see yourself in the future? What's your top dream? What's your goal/purpose? What do you love to do?"

.... I had no answer. :(

This answer is the one I'm searching for for last 10 years. And I still have no answer. I read a lot, I met with so many different people, I lived in different cities, I travelled a bit, and I tried to listen myself deeply, and I respected myself..

I still have no answer where I see myself in the future. Building the best world-wide company in my topic, being the President of Turkey or USA, being the best actress? No, no, no! If I know the answer, I know I can make it happen.. grrr..

And then I was talking with my other mentor, and hahaha :) I'm excited. He said: "the answer you're looking for is maybe not the one you're looking for, maybe there is no answer, maybe you'll not know this answer forever. Your problem is you don't have any problem" I loved the idea. He said I'm so happy whatever I say, or suffering from. :)

Searching for my soul: The title is coming from an old sitcom Ally Mcbeal (90's). The character touched so many women, and they also started searching for their soul, purpose in their life, career, and also their love. They also started to live in their dream world.

In the reality woman who is independent, has equal rights with men has one main problem. Which is her nature who wants a guy who acts like a man!? What do I mean? All modern smart independent women wants a man who dominate the woman. Ewww, does that sound ugly? Yes! Of course, it contradicts with how we grew, how we think and act.. That's why, finding career, purpose in their life is becoming difficult, cause love is a main need for human to live.

Ally McBeal & Searching My Soul

Food, health and sex are the main needs for humans to continue their life. Food is simple to find for most of the countries nowadays. Health, we have all medicines and doctors and it's not as critical as before when people were dying from simple illnesses. Sex which I call love in my post, is hard to find. Our mind talks different from our body. Men are simple creature for all these 3 criteria, food, health and love. Women?! OMG! Problem, problem, problem. Our body and hormones are even complicated and they don't really help us.

The end, it seems like I'm more calm with my questions now. "The point is asking these questions, the answer is always changing which is perfectly normal, it helps us to go on our ways" as someone else told me.

I'll do my best whatever I do now. The opportunities will come from somewhere I never expect maybe. Maybe I'll create my opportunities. I'll just ask my questions and I'll search my soul :)   

Love,

Turkish Girl

P.S Now, I know my lovely subway crush's name =)