Experiences, Fears, I think..

I'm going to a public speaking class in New York City. Last week before fake hurricane came, I gave my first speech, the topic was me - myself, cause they think that's the topic everybody know most and will be more relax! 

First of all, I'm a very comfortable person who can speak easily and express feelings and ideas (I think so). However, years ago I was a terrible speaker, my first-first speech in front of 50 students was a disaster. My mouth was being dry, my voice was shaking, my stomach was feeling sick, awww, that was so embarrassing, my face was burning, and I'm sure it was red even it is impossible. Now, I still feel nervous, excited, and feel breathless. That's what I like maybe, it's adrenaline! :) I love this hormone. It gives me energy. I can speak fluently, and effectively. Do you think it happened just with a medicine or therapy or miracle? No. Practicing.. working on my fear.. to win my fear and to be more stronger. I think that's what I did. And I'm still doing it. :) 

Last week, I've talked about my life, 3 miracles in my life:

1. My birth :)

2. My second life 

3. Realizing my second life was a miracle, and have to do something more & better than working in a 9-5 job, and leaving my lovely city to find the purpose of my life, and to find the opportunity to make the world a better place was my third miracle. Shortly, taking control of my life was my third miracle.

After telling these, I saw everyone was listening carefully -cause that's a bit too honest, intimate- I fucked it up (what else can I say rather than fucked up, screwed up in a nice way??). I didn't make any preparation after this first part, and I had a very bad ending, forgot so many things that I thought to talk about. And my body language & sound got all weird.

Okay here is my short list how to make your public speaking terrible & awful :)

• Don't be prepared for the speech.
• Just focus on your excitement, nervousness, and get more of them.
• Don't take deep breaths and don't exhale slowly.
• Trust yourself too much, be overconfident, or have no confident.
• Don't have note cards during your speech, just spontaneously talk.
• Don't make eye contact w/ audience.
• Just read your papers, put your head down.
• Dress something you don't feel comfortable.
• Don't know who your audience is/are.
• Keep your voice very boring to make people sleep.
• Make it a forever speech, too long.
• If something happen that distracts your audience, pretend it never happened.

I realized I can keep this list forever. There is so many things to make your speech awful. I wish you luck at your speeches, but as you can see it's not about luck :)