Dark Times, How To Not Give Up :)

Oh my God, I was always wanted to go there. It's in Tailand I learned today :) So it's going to be in my to-do list now!

Dark times.. every single person have these times.. because of a friend, boyfriend girlfriend, boss, family.. financial, emotional .. especially when we start something new, a feeling poke us: did I do good to do that? A marriage, maybe leaving your corporate job and starting your own business, or leaving a country.. in that dark times, we lose our hope, belief and energy.. and that's the time we realize actually that's all we got. Only with that we can built armys, or save billions of peoples life..

That's why the people who believe their product and promote, the couple who believe their love and eachother, the man who believe pure God are the WINNER! Not the one who works only for money. Steve Jobs, I think he was a great believer! He believed what he was doing from heart, and I'm sure he had a lot of dark times which made him questioning if he was on the right path. And I'm sure he had his own system to get over that feeling to be more successful.

Still the question is here: what are we going to do when our belief shake? What does a ship do when it lost it's way in the ocean? I don't know the answer, but I can brainstorm:

• We need a compass to show us our direction. That could be a well-prepared business plan, or our goals and dreams.
• In The Quran first rule is READ. Well, that's the greatest rule ever: read. But we don't have a lot of time right? So we need to be picky and read something according to achieve our goals. It will help us to keep going in our direction. Or sometimes, to change our direction, too..
• But also, write. You'll surprise a lot when you read what you wrote 1 years ago. And in these dark times, you can go back and read, and remember why you did that.  For example: you divorced from your partner, and you feel weird because you remember the good times.. you think maybe that was a mistake to divorce, and now you're lonely. You don't have friends who support you, etc.. If you had written what happened before, and how you were unhappy, you'd be glad to be divorced.
• Same example: If you write what happens at work, if you're living some bad days with your colleague or boss or partner, two months later when you decide to talk with someone, or quit your job, you'll remember what you had to live. Because we humans FORGET! We forget things. Good or bad. 
• Read.
• Write.
• Maybe you were really wrong, when you read you'll realize how stupid you were :) haha. hope not. But if that happens that's good to realize and change. 
• Look at the moon. Look at the buildings, sea, ocean, sun..Look at the people. They are all living in their life, everyone think they are the only one in the world. Just for few minutes think and feel you're a little tiny part of the big picture, universe. That will give you a power if you have a direction on your life. Otherwise, you'll feel weak.. and desperate..
• Follow your instincts. (I'm not comfortable to say that. Because some instincts are killing, abusing, etc.. I believe everybody have an angel and devil inside themself. We make a decision in our behaviors to choose the good or bad. But please don't insult devil. Or don't praise angels. It's us. We chose to do that. Consciously. So, when I say follow your instincts I mean the good side. What makes you happy, and satisfied, you know better than others. Follow your instincts.)
• Message your old friends, ask how they are and if you can help them with something. Maybe they are in their dark times, that will make their day.
• Don't be tired to meet new people. You never know who they will become in your life. Just look at the opportunities. Listen, and share.

Wish you luck! And don't forget we create our luck. Just look for it! =)

Edit: hehe click here to read my brand new great awesome answer

Turkish Girl, Animals, St. Francis Day & Manhattan

Well, I was late, had to enter as a press.. Don't ask how..

My favorite animals there. Aren't they beautiful?! I love love them..

My second best! Baby kangaroo. The softest thing ever.. and baby...

The guy told that nobody wanted to carry the rat, but he thought it's NYC's animal cause everywhere are rats!

That's a fox+something. Cute. :)

Papa? Priest? I don't know.. but probably he and his team organized the event.  Good job!

What else can I do between the press? :)

Camel in the cathedral. 

Great dancers! Christopher Caines Dance Company!

My first reaction I screamed. Then I said: I have to touch it. Because I'm scared from this gorgeous animal. And I did. :)

This kid was psychic. psychopath. he disturbed the snake a lot!

Baby puppy..

I love goats!

Gross?! I don't know why I don't like pigs? It was the first time I heard the pig sound. But I just left.  Annoying.  Not interesting. At all!

Haha! I don't know what it is! :) cool! I love him, too! :) maybe her..

She bite the ring :) and didn't let it go for a while.. 

cute little girl

St Francis Day in Manhattan! :)

beautiful mommy and baby..

A talking papagan! =)

When You Wake Up...

If you have a headache, pain in muscles, sick in stomach, you can't drink or eat anything otherwise you give them back to the earth.. You don't remember so much about last night, but you check your text messages that you've sent some people, and they are not nice... That's what called hangover: it sucks! It takes 5-24 hours to get better physically. So, I'll give a list how to avoid this terrible, awful sickness feeling which ruin your great night, and morning, and day:

1. Before drinking, don't be hungry. With an empty stomach it's not a good idea. Although you drink only 2 glass of wine, you'll feel bad, bad, bad..
2. If you're planning to drink a lot, eat something with olive oil (or drink it :p), it'll protect your stomach wall.
3. Do not mix different kind of drinks: tequila, wine, vodka, beer.. Start with one kind, and finish with one.
4. In the morning, caffeine will help you to feel better (cure you): coffee, yea, but Red Bull is the best.
5. It doesn't matter if you're a female or male, get wasted with someone you trust.
6. Any limit? Well, there is not such a thing like more alcohol more fun. Science tells us, if we drink more, we are not us anymore, and it's not fun anymore either. It's a sickness. Keep it balanced..
7. Do not lose the control. Enjoy your time.

Any more suggestions? And do you have interesting stories about hangover? :) Write in the comment box!

Dreams, but the bad one..

A man was hitting a woman. I was hearing the sound of the woman begging to not hit to her ears, and I was running to stop him.. I was running so fast, but not enough fast, I was not seeing anything because they were in a room. And he was fast. The woman was crying.. When I had a view at last, I saw his face, angry, and punching like a boxer, very professional and fast; he lost himself.. And I knew I was late.. :((

That's the nightmare I saw today. I woke up with this desperate feeling and anger, my heart was beating so fast. I knew it was just a bad dream but I also knew that was happening somewhere in the world that moment, every second..

A lot of women are abused from their husbands, fathers, brothers.. And if their neighbors, family members hear anything about that, THAT'S OKAY. That's the normal thing. Women also accept that this is their destiny, or something like that.

I want to curse that looser people who use their physical power to hit the less stronger one. You are so weak. Mothers who hit their kids, men who hits the women, soldiers who hit the civil, human who hit the animals. I don't have enough words to tell. This video is nice. I didn't know every year 1400 women die, I think it's just in USA.

One Of My Man Made A Good Decision..

Good news!

My lovely brother stopped smoking. I asked my favorite question: why? He said one day he went out to smoke, and then asked himself why he is smoking, and got no answer and at that moment he decided to not smoke again.

Turkish girl wants to go somewhere like that. In winter I'll go :)

10 years ago, when he tried first I was there, too. He said "you were like "nooo, don't try, then you'll get used to smoke." I remember he said "No, I'm not going to. Don't worry". If he says don't worry, I really don't worry. So I never talked about it again, but he smoked for 10 years.

He said he paid more than $10,000.

He said now he can taste whatever he eats. Before everything he ate were same.

He said he can breath now.

Congratulations bro!!!! Don't give up! Because I always say habits are our biggest enemy. Change it. Then you'll get used the new one.

Love you. :)

P.S Wooo!! I was just looking for some keywords, do you know people google mostly "how to stop" and then the next popular one is "how to smoke"!!! TV, celebrities, censorship, high prices, etc tell children it's cool. But they don't know how to smoke. I've tried once in Amsterdam :p, I couldn't do it. It's not that easy, it hurts at the first, you cough. 

P.S.2 That's my last entry about smoke and cigarettes. Everyone has their own decisions, I'm not judging them. These are my opinions, and here is my world. I have that right to share it here. But nobody has a right to poison children (actually they have), and nobody has a right to encourage them to smoke (still, they have. children=next generation=consumers=marketing=sales)

Calendar Issue

I have so many calendars: online, mobile and note-books. And still sometimes I forget my things to do, because they are not in one place.. So I decided to get a real one piece calendar.

Something like big for office desks, but hold on. What if I'm not in the office, or wherever this huge calendar? No, no no. I want something in one place, but don't want to give any efforts to write everything one place later. Otherwise I could use online programs for that.

I want it on paper. I wanna scratch, and take some little notes on it. 

Maybe I need to get something like great businessman, entrepreneur, philanthropist Sakıp Sabancı was using. Small very small classy and simple calendars.. He was writing every important events, appointment, etc there..with his beautiful, careful handwriting.

Oops. That's another issue. My handwriting is huge and not very tidy.. Although I feel responsible to environment I use whole papers to write, think, and organize.

So:

• I can't use online calendars, I want it on a paper.
• A big calendar? I can't carry, and then I have to write collect other details into this one? No, I want to write only once.
• A small nice calendar? Well, my handwriting is big. Small papers are too small for my activities and handwriting.

I know it's not a Gordian Knot but I need a solution very soon. Please don't hesitate to write your ideas in the comment box if you have one :)

Sunday Turkish Breakfast

Today, I had a really great breakfast. I'm so happy! :)

Everything started when I decided to walk in this beautiful Sunday afternoon. I found a new grocery shop: they have tons of breads, fruits, vegetables, etc.. Olives!!! I think Americans don't eat olive, I mean there is something like calamari olives (zeytin tursusu?!), it's not same what we're eating in Turkey. They have some feta cheese you can't find everywhere, it's not same with our cheese.. And bread? Some kind of bread, not like European bread. But I'm a bread person, I love bread, pasta, etc..

But today, I bought kind of original olives, cheese, and a green vegetable. I don't know it's name. I never saw that in New York before. When I saw that vegetable in the grocery I'm literally said "Oh my God! I love you!"

I had a great Turkish breakfast, it's a beautiful day.. =)

My Turkish breakfast: goat cheese, tomatoes, olives, cucumber, yummy bread, and green vegetable

9 11

I was 14-15 when 9/11 happened. I was in Turkey, and everyone was watching TV, trying to understand what's happening in New York. Trade Centers, I was thinking about if they are really the center of trade.. I remember everyone was sad. But a week later, probably we just remembered it as any bad thing in another country.

But now I'm in New York, and actually 9/11 was not just anything I watched in TV. Like a TV show or movie.. It really happened. In a very unexpected moment. How can you expect a plane, no, 2 plane will crash your buildings?!

I met with a guy, he was working in that building, when the security and 911 was telling "Stay wherever you are" his manager said "No, we're going out, now! Everyone!" and that's his story, he was lucky that he had a manager who was not following rules.

I went walking to Battery Park, and I saw these thousands of white flags, and other day, I went meeting with my friends at Bryant Park, there were empty chairs, I thought there will be a concert thing, but no. After I watched the details of what happened that day and how on TV, I understood, it was the ceremony for the memorial day of 9/11. And now I can feel the lost.

I don't have enough words to curse terror. I can't even describe it. But it's same in every country: civil - innocent people are the victims. Lost are the same lost, anger is the same anger.

Rest in peace.

Thinking about thinking..

Sometimes my friends tell me I'm thinking too much. Well, not the quantity, but the quality is the important thing.. Not how much but how you're thinking is the point. We, lovely humans (specially me) have some distorted thinking styles that hurt us. It's not good! No good. Here is the list:

All of us sometimes have these thinking styles, maybe this list can help us to be more open-minded and realize  our mistakes. Let's get better :)

      1. Filtering: You basically pick up only negative things between all other positive things.

• Your girlfriend, boyfriend do a lot of awesome things and you just focus the negative things, and make your relationship terrible.
• Your startup company is doing very well, but you expected a faster expanding, then you focus on that, and make your life a nightmare, also your employes.

Chill.. You're doing great. Why do you focus only negative things? Of course be aware but focus on positive things. Life is great, you're doing great, your partner actually loves you, your employees actually working pretty well. Let's motivate everyone.

     2. Polarized thinking: Everything is white or black, good or bad.

• You have to be perfect or you're a failure. 
• Your job, your parents have to be best or it's not for you. 

Chill.. There can be other options. You don't have to be perfect. And actually what makes us perfect is our mistakes and differences than the standard perfect. 

  
     3. Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion with a single experience.

• Once you've hurt yourself when you were cutting potatoes doesn't mean that will happen always.
• Once you've failed in one single project that doesn't mean you're never going to be successful.

Chill.. Try to avoid using "always", "never" conclusions. You just experienced it. Be open-minded and free without judgements.

     4. Mind-reading: Ahaa! This is very common. Without listening or watching what the others think, we comes a conclusion. Make the decision what they think.

• Simple but too much simple we ignore: Everybody's mind and understanding work differently. 2 people look at same thing but they see something different. 
• They don't feel the same with you. Everybody's love language are different from each other.

Chill.. Listen and watch if you really want to understand what they think and feel. If you don't know how to read body language and word language wait for my next posts :)

     5. Catastrophizing: Even writing about it, makes me feel bad. WHAT IF? Terrible two words you're using in your daily life.. 

• What if something bad happens?
• What if she leaves me?
• What if earthquake happens?
• etc. etc.

Chill...!!!! Shut your brain up. Stop thinking like that. Don't you see there is no ending of this imagination and it doesn't help in the end, there is no point. Stop. If not, don't talk to me please! And don't talk to your parents, friends, colleagues, etc.. :)

     6. Personalization: Yea, everything happens around you is actually happens for you! No, no, that's just sarcasm. But with this distorted thinking you take everything personal.

• It's raining in your birthday. God doesn't like you :(
• She said she likes only smart people, oops, she meant you're not smart?!

Chill.. If it's not directly told to you, then you can only assume, but still that doesn't mean anything. Be positive listen, try to help, it's not a game like there has to be a meaning of everything. Maybe that's what they say only. She likes smart people. Don't take it personal.

     7. Control Fallacies: You think life controls you. There is nothing you can do about it. Your mom has a problem, and you can't do anything about that and feeling guilty about that. I'm not sure about that. Check source. :)

     8. Fallacy of Fairness: Ha. You think you knows everything. You know what's fair. And others are miserable with their point of views and minds.

• Religious people think other religion's people are miserable, that they can't see the only truth.
• You're absolutely right, you smile others, and think don't even listen them, because you know best. 

Chill.. Realize that you're making yourself stuck in your mind, and playing God, decide for the fair. Again, please check the source to be sure.

     9. Blaming: It's a easy way of anything unwanted happens. You blame the others, or yourself. Take no responsibility, just feel pain, cursing yourself, or others.

     10. Shoulds: :) You have lists of what things supposed to be like. If not happen that you're not okay, or the others are not okay. Then you feel guilty or reject someone because they didn't do what they had to do. No-good thinking style.

     11. Emotional Reasoning: Lol. Today you feel a little bit sad, then you should be sad. Let's find some reasons to be sad. You feel angry!! Let's find some victims to shout at! Let's make your emotions control you. Women! Your job is difficult because scientists say that our body works under control of so many different things: moon, stars, your eggs cycle, etc :) Don't always trust your feelings..

      12. Fallacy of Change: They have to change for you. If this guy smokes, he should stop smoking for our happiness, and if you insist enough you can change him. You can change everything if you work on this. Well. Let's chill.. :) Accept people as they are. If you don't like them as they are then just leave!

      13.  Global Labeling: Generalization, prejudice, snap-judjements. Just because you met few couple people in New York, you start telling New Yorkers are ... Just because your ex-girlfriend was cleaning and cooking to you, that doesn't mean girlfriends do that! Just because your husband cheated you, that doesn't mean guys cheat always.

      14. Being Right: You have to be right. You can't be wrong. That's your only purpose when you talk, to prove you're right. You start your sentences "nooo", "you're wrong". You never really listen what other trying to say, or why they believe so.

     15. Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You did everything "right". Where is your reward?! No reward? Oh, you became sad, and broken, that's not fair, you did everything right.. Let's just do things makes you feel satisfied and happy. For example, ladies, I hear a lot of you say "I did everything for him, cleaned, cooked, raised his children, didn't follow my career, and look what's my reward??!!" You did everything because you wanted so. At least let's do what you really want to do, not to get a reward afterwards. Right now, do you want to do this? Do you want to leave your work, and be your house's and man's woman? If yes, you do it because you wanted it so, and that's your reward!

Me? Yes, I do these common mistakes a lot! Mind-reading, I love it. =) But, I know, they are not good. I'm trying to work on them to change it. I tell people I do generally mind reading so let me ask you to be clear. In New York City, it's so easy to be straight forward. That's one of the best part to live here :)

Source: access.ewu.edu

Yoga - Brain Shaking - Thinking - Einstein - Love

Today in my tao yoga class, we tried something new: brain shaking. Here how to do it:

• Slowly shake your head. Sorry. In a very small distance, shake your head fastly.
• It should be really in a minimum area.
• You should do it fast.
• Take deep breath.
• Exhale slowly to get rid of your bad energy and problems in your brain.

Result:

• I have headache.
• I don't really wanna hear "exhale" "donjon" "belly button" anymore.
• I'll do only normal classic yoga in my next years.
• Maybe no yoga anymore.
• Just other workouts.
• Can someone tell me why should I stop thinking?? You know part of meditation you shouldn't think anything. I can do that whenever I want. But. I WANT TO THINK :) Want to think my daily little life, how much I started to love & admire Einstein, how facebook became so popular & why it's started annoying its users, what I'm gonna eat, should I cook or buy some food, ohh I have to call my parents, also need to call this place for appointment, etc.. Why not? Does it make you tired, too? I  prefer a busy brain rather than an empty one. (I know there is something wrong in this statement, but right now I just want to believe what I wrote) 

Hmm.. by the way, sometimes my friends tell me I'm thinking too much. I think, thinking a lot is not that bad, but how you're thinking is extremely important. I made a list of human distorted thinking styles. Next days I'll post it :)

Since then,

I'll enjoy rest of the labor day (USA) - holiday - #awesomeness

I'll celebrate Turkish Basketball Team's Success

I've really started to falling in love with Einstein. It's like my childhood love - Ataturk. Learning more about him is in my to-do-list