One Of My Man Made A Good Decision..

Good news!

My lovely brother stopped smoking. I asked my favorite question: why? He said one day he went out to smoke, and then asked himself why he is smoking, and got no answer and at that moment he decided to not smoke again.

Turkish girl wants to go somewhere like that. In winter I'll go :)

10 years ago, when he tried first I was there, too. He said "you were like "nooo, don't try, then you'll get used to smoke." I remember he said "No, I'm not going to. Don't worry". If he says don't worry, I really don't worry. So I never talked about it again, but he smoked for 10 years.

He said he paid more than $10,000.

He said now he can taste whatever he eats. Before everything he ate were same.

He said he can breath now.

Congratulations bro!!!! Don't give up! Because I always say habits are our biggest enemy. Change it. Then you'll get used the new one.

Love you. :)

P.S Wooo!! I was just looking for some keywords, do you know people google mostly "how to stop" and then the next popular one is "how to smoke"!!! TV, celebrities, censorship, high prices, etc tell children it's cool. But they don't know how to smoke. I've tried once in Amsterdam :p, I couldn't do it. It's not that easy, it hurts at the first, you cough. 

P.S.2 That's my last entry about smoke and cigarettes. Everyone has their own decisions, I'm not judging them. These are my opinions, and here is my world. I have that right to share it here. But nobody has a right to poison children (actually they have), and nobody has a right to encourage them to smoke (still, they have. children=next generation=consumers=marketing=sales)

Calendar Issue

I have so many calendars: online, mobile and note-books. And still sometimes I forget my things to do, because they are not in one place.. So I decided to get a real one piece calendar.

Something like big for office desks, but hold on. What if I'm not in the office, or wherever this huge calendar? No, no no. I want something in one place, but don't want to give any efforts to write everything one place later. Otherwise I could use online programs for that.

I want it on paper. I wanna scratch, and take some little notes on it. 

Maybe I need to get something like great businessman, entrepreneur, philanthropist Sakıp Sabancı was using. Small very small classy and simple calendars.. He was writing every important events, appointment, etc there..with his beautiful, careful handwriting.

Oops. That's another issue. My handwriting is huge and not very tidy.. Although I feel responsible to environment I use whole papers to write, think, and organize.

So:

• I can't use online calendars, I want it on a paper.
• A big calendar? I can't carry, and then I have to write collect other details into this one? No, I want to write only once.
• A small nice calendar? Well, my handwriting is big. Small papers are too small for my activities and handwriting.

I know it's not a Gordian Knot but I need a solution very soon. Please don't hesitate to write your ideas in the comment box if you have one :)

Sunday Turkish Breakfast

Today, I had a really great breakfast. I'm so happy! :)

Everything started when I decided to walk in this beautiful Sunday afternoon. I found a new grocery shop: they have tons of breads, fruits, vegetables, etc.. Olives!!! I think Americans don't eat olive, I mean there is something like calamari olives (zeytin tursusu?!), it's not same what we're eating in Turkey. They have some feta cheese you can't find everywhere, it's not same with our cheese.. And bread? Some kind of bread, not like European bread. But I'm a bread person, I love bread, pasta, etc..

But today, I bought kind of original olives, cheese, and a green vegetable. I don't know it's name. I never saw that in New York before. When I saw that vegetable in the grocery I'm literally said "Oh my God! I love you!"

I had a great Turkish breakfast, it's a beautiful day.. =)

My Turkish breakfast: goat cheese, tomatoes, olives, cucumber, yummy bread, and green vegetable

9 11

I was 14-15 when 9/11 happened. I was in Turkey, and everyone was watching TV, trying to understand what's happening in New York. Trade Centers, I was thinking about if they are really the center of trade.. I remember everyone was sad. But a week later, probably we just remembered it as any bad thing in another country.

But now I'm in New York, and actually 9/11 was not just anything I watched in TV. Like a TV show or movie.. It really happened. In a very unexpected moment. How can you expect a plane, no, 2 plane will crash your buildings?!

I met with a guy, he was working in that building, when the security and 911 was telling "Stay wherever you are" his manager said "No, we're going out, now! Everyone!" and that's his story, he was lucky that he had a manager who was not following rules.

I went walking to Battery Park, and I saw these thousands of white flags, and other day, I went meeting with my friends at Bryant Park, there were empty chairs, I thought there will be a concert thing, but no. After I watched the details of what happened that day and how on TV, I understood, it was the ceremony for the memorial day of 9/11. And now I can feel the lost.

I don't have enough words to curse terror. I can't even describe it. But it's same in every country: civil - innocent people are the victims. Lost are the same lost, anger is the same anger.

Rest in peace.

Thinking about thinking..

Sometimes my friends tell me I'm thinking too much. Well, not the quantity, but the quality is the important thing.. Not how much but how you're thinking is the point. We, lovely humans (specially me) have some distorted thinking styles that hurt us. It's not good! No good. Here is the list:

All of us sometimes have these thinking styles, maybe this list can help us to be more open-minded and realize  our mistakes. Let's get better :)

      1. Filtering: You basically pick up only negative things between all other positive things.

• Your girlfriend, boyfriend do a lot of awesome things and you just focus the negative things, and make your relationship terrible.
• Your startup company is doing very well, but you expected a faster expanding, then you focus on that, and make your life a nightmare, also your employes.

Chill.. You're doing great. Why do you focus only negative things? Of course be aware but focus on positive things. Life is great, you're doing great, your partner actually loves you, your employees actually working pretty well. Let's motivate everyone.

     2. Polarized thinking: Everything is white or black, good or bad.

• You have to be perfect or you're a failure. 
• Your job, your parents have to be best or it's not for you. 

Chill.. There can be other options. You don't have to be perfect. And actually what makes us perfect is our mistakes and differences than the standard perfect. 

  
     3. Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion with a single experience.

• Once you've hurt yourself when you were cutting potatoes doesn't mean that will happen always.
• Once you've failed in one single project that doesn't mean you're never going to be successful.

Chill.. Try to avoid using "always", "never" conclusions. You just experienced it. Be open-minded and free without judgements.

     4. Mind-reading: Ahaa! This is very common. Without listening or watching what the others think, we comes a conclusion. Make the decision what they think.

• Simple but too much simple we ignore: Everybody's mind and understanding work differently. 2 people look at same thing but they see something different. 
• They don't feel the same with you. Everybody's love language are different from each other.

Chill.. Listen and watch if you really want to understand what they think and feel. If you don't know how to read body language and word language wait for my next posts :)

     5. Catastrophizing: Even writing about it, makes me feel bad. WHAT IF? Terrible two words you're using in your daily life.. 

• What if something bad happens?
• What if she leaves me?
• What if earthquake happens?
• etc. etc.

Chill...!!!! Shut your brain up. Stop thinking like that. Don't you see there is no ending of this imagination and it doesn't help in the end, there is no point. Stop. If not, don't talk to me please! And don't talk to your parents, friends, colleagues, etc.. :)

     6. Personalization: Yea, everything happens around you is actually happens for you! No, no, that's just sarcasm. But with this distorted thinking you take everything personal.

• It's raining in your birthday. God doesn't like you :(
• She said she likes only smart people, oops, she meant you're not smart?!

Chill.. If it's not directly told to you, then you can only assume, but still that doesn't mean anything. Be positive listen, try to help, it's not a game like there has to be a meaning of everything. Maybe that's what they say only. She likes smart people. Don't take it personal.

     7. Control Fallacies: You think life controls you. There is nothing you can do about it. Your mom has a problem, and you can't do anything about that and feeling guilty about that. I'm not sure about that. Check source. :)

     8. Fallacy of Fairness: Ha. You think you knows everything. You know what's fair. And others are miserable with their point of views and minds.

• Religious people think other religion's people are miserable, that they can't see the only truth.
• You're absolutely right, you smile others, and think don't even listen them, because you know best. 

Chill.. Realize that you're making yourself stuck in your mind, and playing God, decide for the fair. Again, please check the source to be sure.

     9. Blaming: It's a easy way of anything unwanted happens. You blame the others, or yourself. Take no responsibility, just feel pain, cursing yourself, or others.

     10. Shoulds: :) You have lists of what things supposed to be like. If not happen that you're not okay, or the others are not okay. Then you feel guilty or reject someone because they didn't do what they had to do. No-good thinking style.

     11. Emotional Reasoning: Lol. Today you feel a little bit sad, then you should be sad. Let's find some reasons to be sad. You feel angry!! Let's find some victims to shout at! Let's make your emotions control you. Women! Your job is difficult because scientists say that our body works under control of so many different things: moon, stars, your eggs cycle, etc :) Don't always trust your feelings..

      12. Fallacy of Change: They have to change for you. If this guy smokes, he should stop smoking for our happiness, and if you insist enough you can change him. You can change everything if you work on this. Well. Let's chill.. :) Accept people as they are. If you don't like them as they are then just leave!

      13.  Global Labeling: Generalization, prejudice, snap-judjements. Just because you met few couple people in New York, you start telling New Yorkers are ... Just because your ex-girlfriend was cleaning and cooking to you, that doesn't mean girlfriends do that! Just because your husband cheated you, that doesn't mean guys cheat always.

      14. Being Right: You have to be right. You can't be wrong. That's your only purpose when you talk, to prove you're right. You start your sentences "nooo", "you're wrong". You never really listen what other trying to say, or why they believe so.

     15. Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You did everything "right". Where is your reward?! No reward? Oh, you became sad, and broken, that's not fair, you did everything right.. Let's just do things makes you feel satisfied and happy. For example, ladies, I hear a lot of you say "I did everything for him, cleaned, cooked, raised his children, didn't follow my career, and look what's my reward??!!" You did everything because you wanted so. At least let's do what you really want to do, not to get a reward afterwards. Right now, do you want to do this? Do you want to leave your work, and be your house's and man's woman? If yes, you do it because you wanted it so, and that's your reward!

Me? Yes, I do these common mistakes a lot! Mind-reading, I love it. =) But, I know, they are not good. I'm trying to work on them to change it. I tell people I do generally mind reading so let me ask you to be clear. In New York City, it's so easy to be straight forward. That's one of the best part to live here :)

Source: access.ewu.edu

Yoga - Brain Shaking - Thinking - Einstein - Love

Today in my tao yoga class, we tried something new: brain shaking. Here how to do it:

• Slowly shake your head. Sorry. In a very small distance, shake your head fastly.
• It should be really in a minimum area.
• You should do it fast.
• Take deep breath.
• Exhale slowly to get rid of your bad energy and problems in your brain.

Result:

• I have headache.
• I don't really wanna hear "exhale" "donjon" "belly button" anymore.
• I'll do only normal classic yoga in my next years.
• Maybe no yoga anymore.
• Just other workouts.
• Can someone tell me why should I stop thinking?? You know part of meditation you shouldn't think anything. I can do that whenever I want. But. I WANT TO THINK :) Want to think my daily little life, how much I started to love & admire Einstein, how facebook became so popular & why it's started annoying its users, what I'm gonna eat, should I cook or buy some food, ohh I have to call my parents, also need to call this place for appointment, etc.. Why not? Does it make you tired, too? I  prefer a busy brain rather than an empty one. (I know there is something wrong in this statement, but right now I just want to believe what I wrote) 

Hmm.. by the way, sometimes my friends tell me I'm thinking too much. I think, thinking a lot is not that bad, but how you're thinking is extremely important. I made a list of human distorted thinking styles. Next days I'll post it :)

Since then,

I'll enjoy rest of the labor day (USA) - holiday - #awesomeness

I'll celebrate Turkish Basketball Team's Success

I've really started to falling in love with Einstein. It's like my childhood love - Ataturk. Learning more about him is in my to-do-list

Experiences, Fears, I think..

I'm going to a public speaking class in New York City. Last week before fake hurricane came, I gave my first speech, the topic was me - myself, cause they think that's the topic everybody know most and will be more relax! 

First of all, I'm a very comfortable person who can speak easily and express feelings and ideas (I think so). However, years ago I was a terrible speaker, my first-first speech in front of 50 students was a disaster. My mouth was being dry, my voice was shaking, my stomach was feeling sick, awww, that was so embarrassing, my face was burning, and I'm sure it was red even it is impossible. Now, I still feel nervous, excited, and feel breathless. That's what I like maybe, it's adrenaline! :) I love this hormone. It gives me energy. I can speak fluently, and effectively. Do you think it happened just with a medicine or therapy or miracle? No. Practicing.. working on my fear.. to win my fear and to be more stronger. I think that's what I did. And I'm still doing it. :) 

Last week, I've talked about my life, 3 miracles in my life:

1. My birth :)

2. My second life 

3. Realizing my second life was a miracle, and have to do something more & better than working in a 9-5 job, and leaving my lovely city to find the purpose of my life, and to find the opportunity to make the world a better place was my third miracle. Shortly, taking control of my life was my third miracle.

After telling these, I saw everyone was listening carefully -cause that's a bit too honest, intimate- I fucked it up (what else can I say rather than fucked up, screwed up in a nice way??). I didn't make any preparation after this first part, and I had a very bad ending, forgot so many things that I thought to talk about. And my body language & sound got all weird.

Okay here is my short list how to make your public speaking terrible & awful :)

• Don't be prepared for the speech.
• Just focus on your excitement, nervousness, and get more of them.
• Don't take deep breaths and don't exhale slowly.
• Trust yourself too much, be overconfident, or have no confident.
• Don't have note cards during your speech, just spontaneously talk.
• Don't make eye contact w/ audience.
• Just read your papers, put your head down.
• Dress something you don't feel comfortable.
• Don't know who your audience is/are.
• Keep your voice very boring to make people sleep.
• Make it a forever speech, too long.
• If something happen that distracts your audience, pretend it never happened.

I realized I can keep this list forever. There is so many things to make your speech awful. I wish you luck at your speeches, but as you can see it's not about luck :)

Lovely Irene, Welcome to New York!

Omg! 

Hurricane Irene is coming to New York. I've never been somewhere before where people get ready so well: I think if the end of the world comes, they will still be alive.

• They shopped everything for forever. Water, eggs, meat, chocolate, etc.. There was nothing left in malls.
• All of the movies are rented.
• They say the water can reach till second floors, so there will be boat emergency team.
• MTA, all subways, bus services are shut down! The first time ever in the history!
• In Atlantic City all casinos are closed, that means a lot!
• There were surfers in the ocean because they love waves, but now it's noon, 27th I don't think they are still there.
• Everything seems so unreal, but also real cause of the Hollywood movies!! 
• They shut down all of this Manhattan Island, like we're in quarantine, like we will be zombies!!

Weheee!! It's coming!! :)

Friends, and others, good luck, be safe and have fun! That can be a story you can tell your grandsons.

RESPECT?!

An example of Ron English's propaganda art

I have an issue with myself: I do not know how to respect people who smokes and feeds their children w/fast food. 

Cigarette:

• Officially dangerous for health.
• On the cigarette boxes, there are disgusting facts & pictures.
• Smells gross! Ugh!
• After smoking, smells worse! Talking w/these people even you like them, yucks! Can't imagine kissing..
• Are they brain-disabled? NO! They are cool people generally! (Oops, I just remembered one of best friend smokes, s**t! And my lovely brother, and father, and.. lol)
• It's their choice. 
• And, they are publicly hacked: no smoke inside, sometimes, in special ugly rooms..
• But, question: how can I just feel normal for them?? I feel I do discriminate them :) haha. That's no good!

Fast Food:

• I just watched Supersize Me. Great documentary.
• In Turkey I was eating Mc Donald's, Burger King, etc 4-5 times in a year. It was always delicious, but I didn't want to get used to eat them.
• In New York, well, because they are really fast, in 1-2 minutes you get your food and I'm in a rush all time, I eat once in a month I think :(
• After eating, I feel like I'm dead: wanna sleep forever.

So, how can I respect:

• A mom who tells her 3-4 years old children "if you do that, I'll buy you french fries, Mcdonald's". Is this *** becoming a reward?
• I remember when I was in Tallin, at zoo, I was just looking at kids, taking photos of them, they were the cutest!! And when we were eating something, I couldn't stop staring at their parents who feed them with fast food. I remember my friend was "stop it" to me. How can I act in a normal way?? Do I react too much?
• Beautiful, smart, adult people who smoke?
• For kids, okay I can see the main reason why they smoke: it's cool! I think I respect them, they are too young, and maybe their parents didn't teach them how it will damage their health and relationship, and don't have to do these things to be cool.

Let's stop thinking we'll not be like Fat America! It's closer then you're thinking. Europeans - Asians! Don't destroy your healthy delicious eating habits. We pay a lot here to eat your cuisine. Every 12 years old children deserve to be healthy. Don't make them eat these lovely fat food, if you can. Fast food is cheap! Cooking takes a lot of time & money! It's your decision..

Well, I think I was improved, years ago, I had no tolerance, I was the most boring annoying person who tells people what they already know, and try to make them stop =) Now, maybe I'm still boring-annoying, but I don't talk about smoking, do I?

P.S From now on, I'll not eat anything from McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, etc.. Trust me it's not easy, specially after watching Supersize Me, they were looking so delicious, and I'm hungry now. But I love myself so much, and my future babies, that I don't want to effect them. Okay, let's say 2 times in a year! :) This year I've already ate too much. In 2012, I'll eat 2 times! Yay!

Being in Heaven

I think I was in heaven yesterday, my heaven: one of the greatest mentor I've ever had invited me to a networking event with entrepreneurs and investors. 

One of the sponsor company ER Accelerator, is a non-profit organization helps entrepreneurs succeed. I do love what they do! 

Yesterday was hilarious. Great. Lovely. 

I was like a monster: excited, hungry to get some inspiration & listen new startup's stories.

Imagine a party that everyone has a new idea, to help people according to their needs, they create a service or product. Well, in general everybody have some ideas, they always talk, but yesterday, I met these people who activate their plans and ideas, they started-up their own companies, they took actions!

Yummy. Delicious! :)

Was a great pleasure to connect with these entrepreneurs, investors. Hopefully I'll have time to follow up with them. I think that's another part I like about New York as Istanbul: there are tons & tons of creative, smart, interesting people to keep in touch.

Yay!