Cherry and the Tree

As my mom says I didn't want to born..  It was hard to convince me to come to the world. A week ago, I've started to celebrate my birth with a party, this week I've spent my days with my close friends and I'll celebrate my birth till next Sunday! This is an open party for every single person in my life from all around the world, send me your positive energy! :)

Look at that beauty! Her name is Wolf, and I love her so much!

When I was 3ish, I've fell down from my lovely aunt's apartment's balcony to the ground (4th floor), everyone thought that I was dead, but I didn't even get any scar, blood, etc.. There was a cherry tree, they say it saved my life; and look at the coincidence that the tree was supposed to be cut the next day, I was so lucky..


Years later, when I grown up a little, I realized that God saved my life with a miracle, and give me a chance to live, with a form of this poor Cherry Tree. Did I say poor because it was cut? No, I shouldn't say that: it saved a little huge life! It was a big job Tree, you were great, however your end was, you were great.. so.. I thought there is a reason that I'm living. It's not just fun the life, there has to be a purpose: what was my purpose? I didn't know, I was seriously looking for the answer, I was interviewing my friends, teachers to get the answer with a note-book writing their answers. Then I went with the flow, I've grown up a lot, and forgot my questions. Till New York. Now I have my questions back with the new ones! :)


I'm thankful. I'm enjoying every single seconds of my life. If I'm laughing, I laugh real and deep, it comes from inside of me, and I'm happy. If I'm sad, and crying, I really feel it, and that give me the happiness that I feel sadness and live it. I'm alive. This is life! And people say life is not fair, who knows the life's rules, it's a very complicated equation that our brains can't solve. So the point is, I'm alive, I'm enjoying, and, something missing.. something.


Everyone have a role in the world, and we are connected each other somehow. I'm looking around when I'm walking, I'm smiling, watching, listening..
What I'm saying is: I don't know. I don't want to go on my life with the flow. Is this correct to say like that? You wake up everyday, you do some work, some friends, having feelings and then die. Die in a direction with the flow, not in a way that you wanted to. How many of us live the life we want to? I don't want to look at the mirror one day when I'm really old, and asking what have I done these years?!

A view from Brooklyn to Manhattan in my real birthday, 2011

I'm not that little same person as I was 18! Even my mom surprised to hear my age.. my cutey brothers remind me to think about how old I am.. Em.. I'm celebrating my birthday for two weeks, maybe because I'm freaking out to be old in a way that I don't want, and I'm getting old. Time pass so fast, we can't control it, but it seems like we can fill our life with high quality moments. That's why I'm happy and thankful.


Do I sound complicated? I am!


I'm in New York, with the flow I chose. I thank everybody in my life, that you created me as I'm now: My parents, daddy celebrated my birthday this year at first in my life cause he saw the facebook notification that his daughter has a birthday and he said I'm the best creature in the world, and still his little baby. I don't remember him when I was little, he was always busy, but still, I didn't know how to answer, I'm not used to hear these kind of things. Mommy who has the best heart ever, brothers who tells me I'm old. My friends!!!!! I love you all. And thanks for your wishes.


and thanks a lot to you, Tree.

Fractal Objects & Life

Few weeks ago, I went to Marriott Marquis Hotel's bar in Times Square which was pretty interesting with a very smart friend. I've told him that the hotel reminds me a movie of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thinks the Marriott Hotel in New York designed to create a future image and my friend was also agreeing with me.

A view from Marriott Marquis Hotel's high-tech elevators.

As I remember, I loved that movie because it happens in the future & they travel to Mars & everything is electronic & mechanic. I liked that movie not because of these definition but I believe the future is going to be like that, and that movie was pretty realistic. Here is one example: I was adding like 100 photos to my facebook, and it automatically makes suggestions to tag people in my 960 friend list in seconds. Isn't that scary? What kind of future is for us? I think the answer is in this extremely unbelievable science fiction books or movies. Well you can find my answer simple, but if we look at history, e.g Jules Verne, of course nobody was believing of his stories, flying baloons with people, machine goes under the sea!

The limit of what people can do, or how the future is going to be, is the human mind: if someone-anyone can think anything, that is quite possible to happen. That's why I'm scared ghosts & monsters that probably they are real, too.

In this hotel there were this "cheesy" waterfalls. They were cheesy but the only thing which makes people relax and neutral was this waterfalls. That brought us to another topic: why people feel more relax and more alive when they are in nature. I learned that human beings feel more relaxed to see, touch or hear things which is "fractal". A fractal is "a rough or fragmented geometric shape that can be split into parts, each of which is (at least approximately) a reduced-size copy of the whole," a property called self-similarity (wikipedia). This mechanism was working 300 years ago to protect ourself in the forest where everywhere is green & grass and then you suddenly realize the danger appears like a lion! Hmm, I can hear your question: what about the danger is green, too, like a snake? Good question! There is only 2 things I can say now:

1- Whatever the reasons we like fractal things are, we like to be in nature. Waterfalls, plants, trees, grass, sand, sun; this things make us relax & calm & relief.

2- If you're not sure about this fractal thesis, read here. I like the idea that we like ocean waves, heart beat, and more over nature like it!

And this fractal idea and the connection to our feelings remind me about a book I've read years ago. It was probably a personal development book and was saying that Japanese people listen the water sound whenever they have shower. They listen the water comes from their head, through their whole body till the feet and then sink. And they thank for the life itself and everything. After reading that, I practiced that, too. Now it's one of my basic simple meditation: I also add this little picture that the water goes through sink via pipes to the underground and rivers and ocean or sea. If you're sad, this feeling will go with the water. If you're happy, it goes, too. You neutralize.

The connection with materials makes us addicted to the world, but keeps us away from life itself. 

We think we are happy when we buy a car.. Or even every single dress we buy.. (Well, that makes me really happy! Just for that single time period?) Shower, sea, ocean, laying on a grass make us relief that we forget the material world.

Zeki Amca ile Tanismamin Hikayesi

Yaklasik 2 aydir yapmakta oldugum muay tai & cok bilgisayar kullanmam yuzunden karpal tunel sendromu basladi. Cok uzgunum, moralim bozuldu. Orta yasli & yasli kadinlarda siklikla gorulen bir hastalik olmasi (benim henuz genc olmam), elini kullanamaz hale gelmen, gucsuzluk... Ve dogum gunume gunler kalmasi, nasil olur da yaslandigim icin mutlu olabilirim?

Ismini anmak istemedigim bir Turk restaurant'inda tanistirilma serefinde bulundugum Zeki Amca bilegime ne oldugunu sorunca google'dan okuyup da ogrendigim bildiklerimi anlattim ve hastaligimin pek bir ihtisamli adini telaffuz etmeye calistim ki hemen karpal tunel mi diye sordu. Once basindan gecmis olabilecegini dusundum, sonrasinda bir doktor oldugunu ogrendim. Ve o basladi masal gibi anlatmaya ben de sorularimi sormaya, ve iste hikayesi:

Sayin Dr. Zeki Uygur

Zeki amca. 83 yasinda, 40 senedir New York'ta Turkiye hasreti ile yasayan beyin cerrahi bir doktor.

Neyine asik oldunuz da kaldiniz New York'ta 40 sene diyorum. Lisansini Amerika'nin baska bir sehrinde tamamladiktan sonra esiyle beraber kalmislar. "Bir Turk kiziyla evlendigim icin cok sansliyim. 59 senedir beraberiz" diyor. Turkiye'ye gitmeyi denemisler, sanirim gitmisler de, ama yapamamislar. "Turkiye'de icim diyor, bir parcam, inanmiyorlar ama burnumda tutuyor, gurbetteyim. Neyini ozluyorsunuz ki bu kadar diye soruyorum:

"Kapinin onunde bicak bilemek icin duran adam ve kivilcimlar cikaran makinasi. Yastik-yorgan havalandirip, icindekileri yikayip, sopa ile cirpan kadinlar, havaya ucan yun parcalari." bunlari ozluyorum diyor, gozleri doluyor. "Gerci hala var mi bunlar, bilmiyorum, hersey degisiyor."


Daha sonrasinda, anliyorum ki, Turkiye'den gelen "Turkiye'de caliscagina, gavur olmus, gavuristanda hekimlik yapiyormus" laflarina cok takilmis, gozleri doluyor yine, yediremiyor kendine. 


Ve aradan gecen bir haftadan sonra, arastiriyorum ve bu guzel soylesiyi buluyorum. Turk'umle gururla duyuyorum. Bizler zeki, saglam insanlariz. Annesi ve babasi egitimli kendini bilen insanlar tarafindan buyutulen cocuklar, hele bir de Turk kulturu ile buyumusse, boyle sanat eserleri cikiyor iste ortaya!


Dr. Zeki Uygur, sizinle tanistigim icin cok sansli hissediyorum kendimi. Gerek Oktay Guney'le yaptiginiz soylesi gerekse hatirimda kalanlar hala aglamakli yapiyor beni. Turkiye'de ve New York'ta tabirinizle "hava basan" bircok isadamiyla, insanla tanistim. Hakkinizda yapilan belgeseli buyuk bir merak ile beklemekteyim.


NOT: Allah rahmet eylesin. 

First Connection Steps in New York

Well.. I want to write for the people who want to make business between Turkey & United States. 

In my first days in New York, I visited Turkish Consulate General, Commercial Attache and wanted to learn about Turkish-American business relations/connections. Mr. Ahmet CANLI, Commercial Attache helped me a lot and answered my questions.

First of all, I sent an e-mail as they told in their website to make an appointment, they e-mailed me back very quickly which was nice and surprising. Mr. Ahmet CANLI answered all of my question and helped me to have a vision: 

In New York there are so many restaurants, deli, grocery or supermarkets. There are so many lawyer offices which I think they are working on mostly financial or immigration issues. What about trade companies who do export-import or others? Yes, of course there are! Since New York is a great place of trade and have a big volume of import, and Turkish people are smart, naturally they got their place in New York.

However, you can’t find them. Not because they are invisible, but they don’t want to involve the Turkish community. For example Pasabahce is a big very famous Turkish company, however they don’t attend any Turkish event and don’t call them Turkish. As I remember, they produce in their Russian factory and they introduce their products as a non-Turkish product.

Mr. CANLI gave me some contact name & my next stop was going to Turkish-American Chamber of Commerce (TACCI). Mr. Safak DOGAN, the director of this organization is a young executive & he is trying to change this lazy Turkish hierarchic system and works really hard. They receive so many questions about how to start business in New York or about the process how to make export-import between Turkey & USA.

About my TACCI observations wait for my next blog.