The Weirdest Awesome Event Though Mudder...

I've participated the world's most difficult parkour, Though Mudder.

Tough Mudder will punish you, no matter your shape, size, or current level of fitness. As such, we encourage all Mudders to increase their physical training in preparation for the event. That said, completing a Mudder is as much about mental toughness, grit, and camaraderie (and having a great time) as anything exclusively physical. In terms of what you are looking at: each Tough Mudder course will have 10-12 miles of hills, mud, water, ropes, walls, electric shocks, and fire designed to push you to your limit. Want more? 

Err.. I was really thinking I was ready and trained. remember? I bike everyday!!! I pull-up & sit-up every day!! Grr.. When we started running after climbing a wall, I realized with the cramps that I never run...I do not like to run. Only 5-10 maybe 15 minutes, just because I like the city at night. That's all..

I whined a lot!! and they gave the t-shirts in the end, I didn't know I pledged for it... :)  and.. I  remember saying "I had no fears before now I have a lot" 

I've stopped all my team because of my cramps, and to breath... It happened not more than 10 minutes later the race started.. Can you imagine how I was shocked & embarrassed . I never thought it could happen to me before.. I'm the monkey and the adventurous, I can do anything!! And all these almost 20 people were waiting for me to go. (great team ever) 

I learned how to breath in saying "I can" and exhale saying "do it".. I did run.. Controlling my mind and breath.. I could panic so easily, but I didn't. Now I wish I didn't take it so serious, and just walked slowly..

The first obstacle was a liquid that you should dive in and get out from the other side.. Problem: it's not water, full of ice, and minus 15 maybe... not ice cold, way much colder.. I remember I was saying: "I'm not ready, and I'm never gonna be ready for this." But, I had to jump, tones of people were so interested with completing the parkour so they were in the line.. I jumped, and my plan was holding my breath and dive-in.. Problem, it was so freaking cold that I couldn't breath in.. Can you imagine?? You just want to breath once to move on, so you can survive but you can't.. So with this panic feeling I could hear my mind saying, don't breath, just close your mouth and dive in. And that's what I did. And when I could climb up, the only thing I could do was screaming the shit out of me!! :) (I liked saying that)

Oh my boy.. 

Running and crawling in mud forever, I was still trying to control my mind for running, trying to not panic, while my lovely girl inside me was telling "WHAT THE HECK YOU'RE DOING HERE??????!!!" "All of these crazy people paid to get mud??!!!"

But I didn't stopped. I kept going. I climbed, I jumped, I added some photos from the official site below.

Shortly, after 9th miles, I went on a bit more, but because I kinda broke my finger (I'm still not sure if it's broken or not) and my knee got hurt (it still hurts weirdly after 4 days) I STOPPED. In the end, all of the point about Though Mudder is to finish the parkour -the 12 miles- and getting your band, T-shirt and beer, and I had to stopped. I felt bad-guilty, but at the same time relaxed.. I always hurt myself cause I'm not really careful about my body. 

Well, I got the T-shirt, band and beer tho :) So please pretend I did finish this creepy awesome parkour..

I loved it at first minutes, then I hated it.. hated so badly that I thought I was in a nightmare.. a nightmare that I wanted to wake up.. wake up in my warm safe bed.. Now.. After 4 days later, I'm missing it... Once my finger and knee get better, I'll join again (like 2 years later probably..)

It's such a life-full activity!! And a great team work.

Once Upon A Time...

Yes, I didn't find time to write here for a long time.. I was busy with:

Watching the greatest TV show ever "Once upon a time".. I'll love it forever.. All fairy tail characters are stuck in the earth as normal regular human roles, and they don't remember who they are > that's the curse.

The show is an incredibly well told tale full of mystery and surprising revelations. The back and forth between the real modern universe and the fairy tale world is wonderful, and the ties between the two are always entertaining. We meet all kinds of fairy tale characters, even Disney ones, since the network behind Once Upon a Time is owned by Disney. We meet Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, Belle, and many MANY more, including Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Won Gratel, etc.. Some photos:

my favorite character Hatter from Alice in Wonderland.

Snowwhite, the killer :)

The sheriff - huntsman..

Mr. Gold..

How would you eat a killer apple? Great production!!

Little red riding hood & the wolf...........

Some Music To Our Soul :)

Oh my God! How awesome is that production...?? I'm wordless, and impressed.

I'm the slave of good products & ideas.. such as(in music expression):

And my forever love, Elvis, I love all of his songs, but especially this one:

We Need To Talk

*Spoiler

We need to talk about Kevin and the Colorado mass shooting

Just last week, very randomly I watched a movie called "We Need To Talk About Kevin". I had no idea/clue about the film I just started to watch. The woman who was very successful became almost a homeless and people slap her face when they see her on the street and etc.. What the heck happened to her? I was wondering.. The visuals, artistic quality was really high and nice of the film.

The story is started to shape when she remembers her past, her son was born, and he hates his mom since his birth.. And go and on..

It was one of the best movie I've watched lately. And as you can see I'm not so good at describing it, but I can say I hold my breath till the end..

End? The kid locked his high school, and killed a bunch of students. When she asked him why he did that, the answer Kevin - murderer gave was "I thought I knew why but now I'm not sure"

And today what happened in the movie theater of Colorado, while people watching Batman Rises a 24 year old kid-man comes and kills 12-13 people including children, reminded me Kevin. We were discussing why he did that, the reason could be he wanted to take attention to his empty life. He had no idea of the real world, reality, and whatever he watches on TV, online was the world he was living in. And although I didn't watched the Batman Rises, I know from the trailer, it's pretty wild. And as far as I see the guy just dressed like Batman Rises bad man and gave terror to these innocent people in the theater. He got the attention.

In the prison he'll meet the real life maybe he never met before. Parents, parents.. Don't you think you should give a little responsibilities to your kids, so they will not feel empty and not look for crazy-wild attraction in their life. And is he going to regret when he sees the wild life of prison, or he'll not have enough time for feeling/thinking before he'll execute to death. (I learned in Colorado there is still the penalty of death)

I know it's not my job to criticize parents. Online and offline media has the biggest pie of these results. And you can't control. It will be more & more wild and uncontrollable. So, I believe even though you don't have much time and energy it's your responsibility to educate your children how they should consume/understand/watch/read the MEDIA.

I'm sure some kids who are watching the news today, feeling happiness that something tragic happened like that. They don't feel sad. They feel encouraged if someone do this, they can do it, too!

I'm wondering how we could take lessons from these sad examples how our community is effected by media. Or maybe you think it's not the fault of media? Tell me in the comments.  

look at the audience of Batman who dressed like the character in the movie.

she's representing the parents who got blamed and shocked after their kids behaviors.

Snow White and the Huntsman

What's wrong with these movie companies? First Twilight, and now Snow White and the Huntsman..

I'm asking it again, what's wrong with these writers, casting directors, etc.. Ok, I'm enough adult, but don't they know young teenagers are also watching, maybe kids? Young females..

Creating such love stories, fairy tales and then as if it's not enough putting Edward and the Huntsman as the male characters.. I remember the Edward effect, it started with the books before the movie, the writers wrote an impossible dream guy. Every female I knew were in love with him.. Including me.. :)

And then we watched Snow White and the Huntsman. 3 girls at Times Square Regal. When we left the theatre, we looked into each other and guessed what we've said? lol. "I love Huntsman!!" There is a big issue though: if I love something I want it to be mine, or let's kindly say I want to have it :) (err, I know it's pretty materialistic..)

How can I have the Huntsman?? Let's skip, is there a real man who's a little bit like him?

My message is to the producers. You're playing in the dangerous fields. You're giving impossible sweet dreams to young chikas who will never have it (never? really? maybe there is a possibility? all of these people who marry, they don't marry with logical reasons, right? there should be some stupid love thing?!)

Aww.. Do you know who woke Snow White up from her deadly sleep..? And I've learned the beautiful Queen was Charlize Theron, she was gorgeous!!! I give 5 stars to the Snow White and Huntsman. I'll watch it again, again, and again :)

I think my favorite part was with the troll part.. love it..

Snow White and the Lovely Queen.

the movie starts with his voice. he acted in Thor and The Avengers, too :)

queen says, "all women's weakness is love" or something like that..

Searching For My Soul

First, play the music, cause these days I only listen this lovely dubstep. And I also wrote with this song :)

---------------------------------

I was with one of my mentor (yay, I have a few of them now, universe heard me and send me some angels from nowhere), he asked me "I know you can do anything you want, but tell me, where do you see yourself in the future? What's your top dream? What's your goal/purpose? What do you love to do?"

.... I had no answer. :(

This answer is the one I'm searching for for last 10 years. And I still have no answer. I read a lot, I met with so many different people, I lived in different cities, I travelled a bit, and I tried to listen myself deeply, and I respected myself..

I still have no answer where I see myself in the future. Building the best world-wide company in my topic, being the President of Turkey or USA, being the best actress? No, no, no! If I know the answer, I know I can make it happen.. grrr..

And then I was talking with my other mentor, and hahaha :) I'm excited. He said: "the answer you're looking for is maybe not the one you're looking for, maybe there is no answer, maybe you'll not know this answer forever. Your problem is you don't have any problem" I loved the idea. He said I'm so happy whatever I say, or suffering from. :)

Searching for my soul: The title is coming from an old sitcom Ally Mcbeal (90's). The character touched so many women, and they also started searching for their soul, purpose in their life, career, and also their love. They also started to live in their dream world.

In the reality woman who is independent, has equal rights with men has one main problem. Which is her nature who wants a guy who acts like a man!? What do I mean? All modern smart independent women wants a man who dominate the woman. Ewww, does that sound ugly? Yes! Of course, it contradicts with how we grew, how we think and act.. That's why, finding career, purpose in their life is becoming difficult, cause love is a main need for human to live.

Ally McBeal & Searching My Soul

Food, health and sex are the main needs for humans to continue their life. Food is simple to find for most of the countries nowadays. Health, we have all medicines and doctors and it's not as critical as before when people were dying from simple illnesses. Sex which I call love in my post, is hard to find. Our mind talks different from our body. Men are simple creature for all these 3 criteria, food, health and love. Women?! OMG! Problem, problem, problem. Our body and hormones are even complicated and they don't really help us.

The end, it seems like I'm more calm with my questions now. "The point is asking these questions, the answer is always changing which is perfectly normal, it helps us to go on our ways" as someone else told me.

I'll do my best whatever I do now. The opportunities will come from somewhere I never expect maybe. Maybe I'll create my opportunities. I'll just ask my questions and I'll search my soul :)   

Love,

Turkish Girl

P.S Now, I know my lovely subway crush's name =)

Half of my life..

I was thinking about my life. As always :) Since I'm obsessed with myself with love, I want the best for me..

My life. I'm 25 years old. I have 25 big years to live more. Why? I want to live like I'm going to die at my 50th.

So, this point of view gives me a little poke to do whatever I'll do faster.

My career, my travels, my signature to the humanity.. My love (not only to myself, also to a guy), my babies, my puppies :) .. Twenty-five years! I can do everything!!! It's a lot! So I feel good about that..

Yea, also I know time goes so fast.. :( And if you enjoy your time, it goes faster! What Einstein said:

“An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.”

So, if I enjoy what I'm doing, time will go faster, and very soon, I'll be 50 years old!! Yep, the problem is I'm like in a movie: every challenges and every minutes of my life: I love them! Maybe except when I'm doing nothing, for example just sleeping all day, and spending my time with laziness (sounds good, I know but I do not like these episodes, unconsciously I know I'm wasting my time)

Cheers to more productive days~ and happiness*

PS. It's been a while I couldn't write here, and hearing from my very close friends why I'm not writing made me happy! Thanks to my loves! You give me a special power I need (I think the one kind of power which female needs to have from their female friends to feel belonged, confirmed and accepted, and well, I'm a female, and thanks for making me feel good! :)

 

20 Ways To Survie In A Horror Movie, or Nightmares

Lately I'm seeing nightmares, and woke up in the middle of the night and thinking how I died and what could I do to survive, cause I see this scary movie characters and yes, although I'm super careful they get me! Grrr... And what I stumbled today is awesome! :)

20 Ways To Survie In A Horror Movie:

A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.

• Seriously
• Abstinence is key.

2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.

• I don’t care how good he says his weed is
• he is cuckoo bananas
• and he wants you dead.

3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.

• There are six words you should YouTube, should you get the chance
• “Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th”

4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.

• If the killer can’t see you or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
• Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.

5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.

• Someone will always be barefoot
• Or in heels
• Or just plain clumsy
• And will sprain their ankles
• And die.

6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.

• Don’t walk around looking for people

7. Don’t be a hero.

• Unless your name is Harry Fucking Potter, you will die.
• Hell, maybe even then.
• I mean.

8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.

• The killer is there.
• Also your dog is dead.

9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.

• The last thing you need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.

10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.

• Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck

11. Don’t go into the basement.

• They are creepy enough without you dying in one.

12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home and/or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.

• At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.

13. Turn off the television (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.

• It is obviously your wisest choice.

14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.

• Move very very far away
• Because there’s blood on your walls.
• Blood.
• Your
• Walls
• Are
• Bleeding.

15. Don’t act like a detective.

• Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack you in a closet.

16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.

• If more than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, you know not to go there.
• Issue. Solved.

17. Don’t get drunk. Or come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.

• Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.

18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.

• It is the killer.
• They will kill you.

19. Don’t take a shower.

• ONLY APPLIES IF:
• It’s past midnight at the campground you and your sorority sisters are staying at or
• The lock to the door doesn’t work and you hear creepy piano music.

20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.

• Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he?

More Than 1000 Kisses

Poor Juliet..

I was watching Romeo & Juliet in a theater.. was perfect! It was like the old times, the actors were all men! Romeo was a guy, Juliet was a cute blonde guy, mothers, and the nurse.. all guys!

We were discussing after the show that if Romeo was really in love with Juliet?

- At the beginning Romeo was in love with Rosalie, he loved her deeply, he was only living with her idea, but then he fell in love with Juliet as soon as he saw her.

- The next day they got married secretly and slept together.

The most famous love story: Romeo & Juliet

Conclusion: Romeo was a love addict. He was loving the idea and feeling of "love".

I can hear "but he killed himself for her?!!" Juliet, Rosalie, or anybody else could be this person, who gave him the satisfaction of killing himself for the love. It's not the love for Juliet. Or Rosalie. It's just idea of love, made him buying and drinking the poison.

That's my personal belief about the most beautiful love story ever (!) "Romeo & Juliet"

And Juliet.. Poor girl.. Did she really love him? No! She was only a 13 years old kid who didn't know what love is. But she was sure she didn't want to marry this Paris guy, she liked Juliet more.

Parents of Juliet.. The father who physically and psychologically forced his daughter to marry with Paris.. That's the story still happens to millions of women. However, sometimes no need to a father who force for the more secure life for the daughter. Women live "the Juliet situation": meet with a nice guy with money, secure feeling, and blah blah, and although they don't love this guy, they choose to marry. With the same intentions of that father.. And, here, I'm not judging the parents or the women. How can I?

I just read a news: "The woman whose husband didn't have a job for 8 months, couldn't find wood to heat her 3 children, killed herself desperately." So maybe they loved each other, at least they thought so, but it's not enough to make decisions such as having 3 children. Finance, education, etc, important stuff..

Basically, parents have their own points I respect. Women have their own points, I feel and respect. And I can imagine all different variations so it all depends. But men? Don't you think they are all a Romeo? :) (Do I really mean it or do I just try to make a fancy ending, who knows...)

NOTE: The theatre address here, if you have some time, definitely watch it!!! :) It was a great experience for me, the stage was gorgeous, and actors, and the live musicians, and it's just $20! ;)

The Beckmann Theatre

314 West 54th Street between 8th & 9th, second floor, New York, United States

Bicycling and Climbing.. What a Great Combination!

I had a great weekend.

1-) I had a bicycle tour in a sunny Saturday with my friend. We started from 49th St, trough Hudson River till Battery Park. The plan was go all over Manhattan coming back from China Town, but.. the conversation was almost like that:

	everything is nice, ready, let's go!
	hmm.. it's a bit cold ha?
	it's warm now.. view is great.. I'm listening music and singing :) but, wind is coming in front of us.
	the parks are beginning and they are nice..
	it's too windy.. I'm cold..! I don't want to be sick, can we just take the subway?

	I can't go from China town, let's just turn back from here, wind will come back of us..
	aww, what's that?? ahaha it's snowing!! :)
	I can't seee!! the wind is again in front of us!
	2 blocks more...
	and it takes forever to go upstairs cause I can't walk!! but in the end at home.. :)

2-) Let me introduce you with my new muscles :) On that sunny Sunday, I went for climbing, of course indoor. It was  my first professional class and try, and guess what? I was good. I liked it.. I climbed really hard parts, and I'm writing 2 days later now, my back muscles still hurt me so bad!! Yes, I think they are my parts that never worked before..

My suggestions:

• Before an activity such as climbing, don't do a 2 hours biking tour if you're not used to.. Give at least 2 days break.
• Do bike tours, it's one of the best thing to do in the city.
• Don't do it in the cold :( You sweat, but the wind is cold, and you can get sick..
• Carry some vitamin water, and basically a water cap, you can fill it on the way.
• Make eye contact with all these nice looking athletic women and men you cross ;) And maybe with some puppies :)
• Climbing, oh, it's really hard.. Even for me (i'm a monkey (:), it was difficult after 1 hour. My arms and hands were shaking.. 
• Yep, shortly, enjoy your body.. =)

Edit: Get ready for marks on your knees, and hands cause of climbing.. my mom would describe it "like a kid" 

A New Chapter In My Life

Oh boy,

I'm in love.. I can't stop thinking about her. It makes my little heart beat faster.. I'm deeply in love with my close-future bicycle..

I don't know how it happened but, I never had a bicycle lifestyle, I can't believe it.. It makes your body fit, you can watch around, you can stop whenever, park everywhere, free, and it's cute :) Whenever I travel, I always try to rent a bike if I get a chance to discover the city, and how come I never thought to have one? Whatever, it's still not too late :) Yes, I'm looking to buy one like below. If you see her somewhere, please let me know my NYer friends! Now, get ready to meet with my future bike, and the bike lifestyle in the city, yiwhueeeee:

beautiful, right? a vintage style bike with a basket! haha, I can put my books, extra shoes,  drinks, fruits, everything-everything..

hmm, what else? I can put Wolf in there :)

I can go to the riverside and biking and feel the breeze and stop if I wanna watch the NJ skyline.. :)

I can go out with this? to meet with friends? park at the outside, and lock it.. then go back home with it :) 

I can draw some art stuff like that because I understand the bike lovers now.. I feel so stupid. I am the one who loves physical activity and nature: here it is! 

this one is a little bit real old bike that can stop working easily, so nope. but can you imagine people were riding these in the history at the same roads we're using now..

Europe. in Amsterdam, I remember women were exactly like that. Italy, sounds good, but they are also crazy drivers & crazy roads.. 

Probably I should be careful in the city, I'll make a research about that and will write it here :)

love. I think this should be love. by the way, I can go with my turtles to Central Park :) haha. who said only with dogs?!

It's still in my list to buy a motorcycle, but in NYC, it's really dangerous (crazy cap drivers, they literally don't know how to drive). So, my lovely ninja will wait a little bit more, till I'll be sure about it.

this ninja is small, sexy, fast enough and just like my type.

Superbowl, Some Dirty Secrets & Valentine's Day

• Superbowl.. I was supporting the other team when everyone else was cheering for Giants in a crowded superbowl-house-party .. It's more fun in this way. (I generally try to give and represent the other ideas when everybody believe and support same thing, just to let them remember what they believe, and why they do it.) 
• They played few different national song, and I felt in the room, everybody felt so proud of being an American. TV connected to the soldiers in Afghanistan when they were singing the song. You know all Americans have different ethnicity but they are one = American. And the government do everything to promote this feeling, and it should be in this way, not the other.  
• Number 12, we loved you :) Let me find a photo of him :)

Well, who said make up is only for women?! Look at this guy, from Giants or the Other.. But it made him look like more man!

• That reminded me:

Rustu Recber, Turkish goalkeeper, after him, everybody started to want to be a goalkeeper. :)

• When I was a kid, I was watching soccer a lot. Well.. Batistuta was my very favorite player.. :)

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And let's talk about some dirty secrets.. Maybe I shouldn't tell here, but I'd feel guilty if I don't..

You know I go to gym, I try to go 3 times in a week, but sometimes I can only go once.. and.. well.. what I realized lately is:

• I eat pizza before and after gym! One slice only, but I think that's the only reason I have a tummy! Every time I leave the gym, I get so tired, and need energy and .. and.. I eat these 1$, super unhealthy, and delicious food!
• Everyday!!!! Everyday I eat ice cream :) haha. I don't feel guilty about that.. It's the best thing ever.. I think it's coming from my childhood, someone told me it's milk, so it's healthy.. and here I am.. eating ice-cream every night =)
• And.. The worst thing is.. I don't eat enough.. Enough to live healthy.. and I feel guilty: people can't find food to eat cause of financial issues, and so many die, and I put myself in the same position. I'm trying to change this sick situation by cooking. Cause I can't eat outside very easily.. But homemade food, yes!
• I checked in google, how to boil potatoes, now waiting them to cook, I'm hungry!
• By the way, this nightmare day is coming.. Just after Christmas, shopping malls put their commercial stuff in their stores.. Well, I even bought something for me, too (like a little teddy-bear holding "love you") You know which day I'm talking about: Valentines day!
• Who thinks 2012 is going really fast??? Is it only me?

Experiences, Fears, I Think... 2

Terrible.. bad experience.. again:

My last public speech! Everything started pretty well, as I learned from previous ones, I decided to get ready for this one. I told my friends it's going to be well-prepared this time.

I started preparing 1 hour ago(!) with making an outline with a brain mapping tool. I was supposed to explain one of my favorite city, Ashgabat, so I made a great outline, printed it, also added some photos of the dictator of Turkmenistan, and on&on.. 

I started presenting with this question, I love questions, "Everybody loves travelling right? Well, no: some people hate it and they prefer staying in their comfortable home, and friends" and then talked about "my travelling" concept, how & why.., as always I was very confident and made sure my audience will hear something interesting and they will want to visit afterwards..

Well..

Then I started talking about my Ashgabat trip, and then..

The time was up!! I officially and literally said "Noooooooo!! You're kidding me. I didn't even started". The timer were looking so sad and desperate as if it's his fault :)) But, it was over.

No-you-can't-do-that-to-me-look.. grrr..

Yes, I didn't practice my speech, and the best part which I was keeping for the end of my speech was never mentioned.. "you can't go out after 11pm without car, forbidden", "smoking is not allowed outdoor cause Turkmenbashi - their leader stopped smoking", "you can't have any unmarried relationship, cause hotel employee, your neighbors call soldiers if you do something nasty, and the reasons are..", etc..

I was so excited, and I felt one of the greatest disappointment in my life for few seconds.. regret, anger, disappointment, and I'm sure more of them.. and there was one more feeling: being happy and calm.. that knowing it was only practice, what if it was an important presentation or speech..? I'd lose so many opportunities with an unprepared important speech and feel regret forever?!

Let's recap very quick the most important parts of preparing a speech:

1. Know your audience (yes, I do)
2. Why do you do that, what's the point (yes, I get that)
3. Prepare your outline, don't go away from topic  (always, at least in my mind, for everything I have an outline) 
4. Practice, practice & practice (over confident makes me, "aww I don't need that, I'll do it easily", but that's so important for so many reasons, and my main mistake!)

Things Happen You Never Expect...

Oh my God!! I still can't believe what happened...

Everything started with a skype call with my dad. I was kinda sick, and he was kinda mad that I was not taking care of myself, these conversation can only be with my parents:

I said: "Noo, I take care, just didn't eat enough lately.

He said: "Why didn't you eat?!"

I: Well, I didn't want to... I hate eating!!!!

He: WTF!??

I: Well, in home, my mom was cooking, and I was eating, I love these kind of yummy, healthy food. But when I started college, I realized I don't like to eat outside, and I can't cook. It's still same.. I'm always forcing myself to eat.. It's not fun eating for me anymore.

(At this moment, my mom brought a dish and I heard she said don't show her, then my dad :(( he started eating "manti" very clearly and sapur-supur in front of me)

He: Well, you don't like to eat then no problem, ha?

I: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!! That's torture!!!

Yes, he, my lovely dad, ate all of my favorite food in front of the camera, and I was so so so sad, and desperate... I wrote in my facebook, "what am I gonna do now? :(" And solution came from one of my best friend: why don't you cook yourself?

And I'll keep it very short, I found the recipe in google, went shopping, texted my roommate, I'm cooking the dinner, don't eat!!! and for 4 hours (seriously) I prepared it... There are 4 basic long process (I didn't know it was that long), that I don't know their English description, etc..  I asked my roommates help (poor girl, she rejected eating somewhere else to eat my food, and found herself helping me cooking), she said when we were preparing it: "Turkish Girl, don't ever cook again". I'm still laughing it, and I said OK, your wish is my command! :))

The point of my story is:

• I can cook!!! The interesting thing is, later this week, I cooked again and again: pasta with bolognese sauce, french fries with pepper, tomatoes sauce, Turkish yogurt with garlic sauce (I couldn't take photos, cause I was extremely hungry) I started enjoying my meals again :)
• Don't give up! This four-cooking-manti-process was difficult, I saw my mom was doing and it was looking easy.. When I realized somethings wrong, I thought I made a mistake, and fucked it up. I didn't have so many supplies, like roller, I found a big bottle and used it as a roller (I cleaned it of course). I could give up, but I tried.. This happened in all-3 process.. :( I was almost ordering some food, cause I was still sick (remember I talked with my dad in the morning)
• I repeat again, I can cook :))
• and again: Don't give up, whatever you're doing. And nothing is impossible :) If I can cook, you can do anything!!!! Anything ever..

Here the photos: 

fresh looking right? Manti is kind of heavy food.. I remember we couldn't move for a while after eating all :)

My first plan was cooking a lot, so I can keep it in the freezer and eat later, but trust me, it took years from my life, so I  decided to not be greedy =)

"Do one thing every day that scares you" Oh boy, I touched meat.. 

Just a spicy, oily sauce :)

And that's MANTI: my favorite food! And it was so yummy... Although I said I'm not going to cook again, I can do it again.. :)

And these are from Christmas time:

Did I ever mention, although I hide my socks Wolf ate them? :)) 

And then, I brought her to my home, she pied everywhere :) And I gave her my bear to play :)

But, then Wolf was not kissing her, she was biting and eating my poor bear, I felt sorry.. What was my cute bears fault?

And after these pose, I saved her life.. :)

That's our winter drink: ginger, lemon, garlic, honey, and I don't know what that red thing is.  Obviously I don't make it but my roommate, but I love to drink.. So good! :) edit: "red thing is cinnamon silly"